Auntie Mae’s Various Ramblings on Life in a Small Town

Ida Mae Nowes

Nubbins Special Correspondent 

So here it is … my last column. But what to say? Who cares what an old(ish) lady in a small town like Nubbins has to say about anything?  

Like I do with all such problems, I took this one to my friend, Roberta. She just shrugged and said in her matter-of-fact way, “Look. I know you hate giving advice, but for some reason people seek you out for it. Why don’t you give them what they want?”

Roberta’s right. I don’t much like giving advice, but I have learned a lot in my many years on this earth. I’ve also learned quite a bit by writing this column for the last nine years. Why not share it? So, I looked back through my old columns and came up with a list of 32 words of wisdom life has taught me. But it’s not advice for anyone other than the person who needs it most. And that would be me.

1. If you’re going to bother looking in a mirror, always start out by saying, “Hello, gorgeous!”

2. Go outside at least once a day.

3. If you want to remember someone’s name, say it out loud three times. (If you don’t remember it after that, see #24.)

4. Life is a wave. Ride it or go under.

5. Comparing your insides to somebody else’s outsides is always a waste of time.

6. If you are walking to the beauty parlor for an appointment, always add an extra 30 minutes because you will end up talking to all the neighbors you run into along the way and Cathy at the Cutt-and-Run will give your appointment away.

7. You don’t have to go to every battle you’re invited to.

8. If a child wants to hold your hand – take it.

9. Listening to people is good for you and good for them. And by listening I don’t mean thinking up what you’re going to say next while the other person is talking.

10. Avoid secrets if at all possible. They will make you absolutely crazy.

11. There is a teensy-weensy line between enjoying the holiday season and going overboard. Find that line and don’t step over it. Be firm!

12. You’re never too old to ride a roller coaster, to get married, or to do a maypole.

13. When the wildflowers are out, all is right with the world.

14. It is perfectly acceptable (even encouraged) to leave extra zucchini from your garden in other people’s cars – even if those people are strangers.

15. A walk around the block with good friends is as good as therapy. Plus, it’s a lot cheaper.

16. If it stays cold for a week and the local lake freezes over for the first time in 20 years, somehow there will be enough ice skates to go around. I don’t know how this works, but it does.

17. If you look for the good in people, you will find it.

18. If you have been on Facebook for more than 20 minutes, go back and read # 2.

19. It is never too late to start your day over. These things help: honest friends, deep breaths, a gratitude list, Pearl’s peppermint bark.

20. Don’t look for trouble, but when it comes (and it will come), find the gifts it brings with it.  

21. What other people think of you is none of your business. 

22. Don’t live in the wreckage of your future. Today’s wreckage is good enough.

23. Never try to resist a warm, homemade cookie.

24. Life is too short to fold fitted sheets, to stifle tears, to dust rather than take a nap, or to worry when you forget someone’s name.

25. Be kind – to others, but also to yourself.

26. If you ever get a tattoo (and I am not advocating this), above all else, take an experienced proofreader with you to avoid staring at a typo for the rest of your life.

27. It turns out laughter really is the best medicine. 

28. People will often come through if you get out of the way and give them the dignity to try.

29. Keep the key to your happiness in your own pocket.

30. If you decide you want to buy something on the spur of the moment, wait a week and see if you still want it. (Unless it is a tattoo – then wait at least twelve years.)

31. When you don’t know what to do, do the next right thing.

32. Life is hard and it isn’t fair, but it’s still wonderful.

So this is my list. And if you want my advice – go out and make your own.