Auntie Mae’s Various Ramblings on Life in a Small Town

Ida Mae Nowes

Nubbins Special Correspondent 

Last month I wrote about how dire things looked for my mother-in-law, Floreen. I should have known that the spunky 91-year-old wouldn’t go down that easily. 

She pulled through, and though she is not back to her old self, she’s got that familiar spark of life back in her eye. Good for her, I say, and good for me and my husband, Merl.

Floreen really is an inspiring woman. Because of her stroke, she’s not able to write any more. This concerned her because for many years she has kept a “gratitude journal,” which she wrote in most days, jotting down at least three things she was grateful for. 

“It keeps me focused on the positive,” she once told me matter-of-factly.

She can’t write in her journal any more, but we can write it for her. So, she’ll tell us the things she is grateful for – things like “the note my friend sent,” “the flowers blooming outside my window,” “the fact that I can still speak” – and we’ll write it down. Like I said – inspiring.

Of course, Floreen needs a lot of care, so she reluctantly agreed to leave her apartment and move in with Merl at his home in Petersburg. Merl and I actually share two houses – his in Petersburg and mine in Nubbins. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it works for us. Usually we’re together at one place or the other, but if one of us needs our own privacy for any length of time, we’ve got it and consider ourselves lucky for it. 

It’s also worked to our advantage now that Floreen has moved in. I love Merl and I love Floreen, but anyone who’s taken care of someone else will tell you – if you don’t get some time to yourself, you will go stark-raving bonkers!

Merl and I have been trying to make sure we take care of ourselves as well as Floreen, but it isn’t easy. We call on friends to help out occasionally, for which I will be eternally grateful, and we’ve hired some very part-time help. Otherwise it is up to us.

As you can imagine, that’s meant some pretty major changes. For instance, Merl and I celebrated our first anniversary March 25th. At one time we might have considered going away for a weekend trip, but of course that was out of the question. 

Some friends came over to be with Floreen so we could go out to eat at Luigi’s Italian Restaurant. It was nice, but we talked about Floreen most of the time. And instead of having dessert there, we ordered several cannoli to take home to our friends and Floreen. She only ate a couple of bites but she seemed pleased. Then we played Scrabble for two hours.

Okay, so not the most romantic first anniversary on record, but oh, well.

In addition, Merl decided to take partial retirement. He had been thinking about it already, but Floreen’s illness was the impetus for going forward. I’m already retired, but as I’ve said before, all the retired people I know are just as busy or busier than the people who work. 

Clearly I had to give up a few things. The first thing to go was some committee memberships (no problem there) and my wildflower column that I wrote for the Nubbins Gazette. I’ll still go on regular wildflower walks in the woods, but I don’t mind giving up the deadlines.

Another thing I’ve been doing regularly is tutoring my young neighbor Johnny Mac in reading and writing. Johnny Mac and I have become rather close over the years, and I hate the thought of giving that up. 

But the truth is, Johnny Mac is growing up. He’s a fine reader now, and I’ve really only kept tutoring him because I like being with him. We’ll finish up this school year, but after that, our visits will just have to be of the neighborly kind. 

Of course I wouldn’t dream of giving up my regular walks with my Walkie-Talkie group (I’m not that crazy), but I rarely make it three times a week any more. But that’s okay, too. If I can walk around Nubbins Town Square with my five women friends at least once a week and get in a good laugh or two, my sanity will be restored.

That leaves only one last thing to let go of.

It’s hard to believe, but I have been writing this column to you, dear reader, for nine years. And what a joy it has been! But now it is time to move on to other things. Don’t worry, I’ve got two more columns to go before signing off, but June will be my last one.

This change makes me sad in many ways, but I will choose to follow my mother-in-law’s example in dealing with this new phase of my life. Here are three things I am grateful for: (1) The nine wonderful years I had sharing about my life. Who knew a little old town like Nubbins could be so interesting? (2) You – out there somewhere reading what I had to say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. (3) And all the surprises you and I have coming up after June. Who knows what lies just around the bend?