Frederick M. Hueston, PhD  

Stone Care Consultant 

I was sitting in my office watching some workers across the street rolling tar on a roof. The smell was awful even with the window closed and the ac on high.      

Little did I realize that I would be dealing with that black goo later on that day. Just as I was about to head out the office the phone rang. The voice on the other end mumbled, sounding almost drunk-like. Well, this wouldn’t be the first time I dealt with a client who likes to hit the sauce.  

He said he was a roofer and had a problem with some tar that had dripped all over a granite paver surrounding the building. “I’ve tried every solvent in the world to try and remove the tar but it keeps getting worse,” he said. “I heard about you and thought I would call to see if you had any suggestions.”  

When I asked him where the building was I about fell out of my chair. It was the building across the street from my office! I looked out the window and saw a man holding a cell phone and assumed it was the same gentleman I was talking to.  

I was half tempted to play a little prank and tell him what he was wearing, but I didn’t know how he would take it. Instead, I told him I could come over and take a look. 

As I was on my cell phone and started heading over there, I kept him on the phone as I walked across the street. Just as he finished giving me the address I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Thanks for the directions.” 

I didn’t know how he would react that either, but thankfully, he started laughing and looked confused at the same time. I told him my office was right across the street. We both laughed and then he pointed to the granite pavers and said, “That’s what I’m talking about.”  

There were large globs of tar on the granite. I could now see why he had trouble cleaning it off. My fear was that if the tar wasn’t removed soon it would leave a stain and poultices would have to be applied. I said, “I  could show you how to clean it up.” 

Leaving the office, I grabbed a can of Gum Freeze. Gum Freeze is what carpet cleaners use to remove gum from carpeting. It is basically carbon dioxide that when sprayed on the gum, will freeze it, making it easy to pick up.  

I looked at him and told him I was just going to pick it up with my fingers. He just laughed and said, “Sure you are.” 

While he was still laughing, I reached in my pocket and pulled the Gum Freeze out. I sprayed it on one tar spot for a few seconds and then just picked up the frozen tar. Luckily, it had not been there long enough to leave a stain.  

He was in total shock and just stared with his mouth wide open. I handed him the frozen tar and told him he could get the Gum Freeze at any janitorial supply house. He said thanks and as I walked back to my office, I was pleased to have solved one in my own neighborhood.

The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Fred Hueston, written to be entertaining and educational. He has written over 33 books on stone and tile installations, fabrication and restoration and also serves as an expert for many legal cases across the world. You can send any email comments to him at fhueston@stoneforensics.com