Forget magazine drives and candy sales. A cash-strapped high school near Philadelphia hopes to raise money by auctioning itself on eBay.   

Officials at The Learning Center in Langhorne, Pa., are seeking bids starting around $600,000 to offset steep budget cuts.

The eBay listing describes the public alternative school for at-risk teens as “pre-owned” and “slightly used.”

The winner won’t own the school. But he or she will get a naming opportunity, a free large pizza and the satisfaction of “delivering an education to a group of kids who could really use it.”

Principal JoAnn Holland says she hopes the auction idea, which came from a recent graduate, will draw the attention of a wealthy benefactor. Bidding ended July 4th.

Neshaminy (neh-SHAM’-ih-nee) School District officials did not immediately return requests for comment.

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The Not-So-Great Escape

Sheriff’s deputies say a western Pennsylvania county jail inmate wearing an orange-and-white striped uniform tried to hail a taxi to escape from a hospital where he was taken for medical treatment.

The Beaver County Times reports that 23-year-old Holden Wooley was taken to Heritage Valley Beaver Hospital one night after a reported seizure. Deputies say at one point during his four-hour hospital visit, Wooley went outside to hail a cab — but the driver refused to pick him up.

When hospital security officers tried to grab him, Wooley ran into the woods. Police say he was arrested a couple hours later when officers used a dog and a stun gun to subdue him. He was treated for a dog bite at the hospital and returned to jail.

Online court records don’t list an attorney for Wooley who remained jailed.

Source: Beaver County Times, http://www.timesonline.com/

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Gator Raid

A central Pennsylvania man is jailed on charges that he walked into an unlocked mobile home and beat up the resident before stealing the man’s wooden alligator.

State troopers from the Hollidaysburg barracks tell the Altoona Mirror that 40-year-old Todd Pensyl was arrested shortly after the incident which occurred about 3:30 p.m. at a mobile home park in Tyrone. That’s about 95 miles east of Pittsburgh.

Police say the man who lived in the mobile home confronted Pensyl, who then punched the man in the face and head before pushing him out of the home’s emergency rear door.

Police say Pensyl then kicked the downed man in the face before stealing the $175 alligator and fleeing.

Online court records don’t list an attorney for Pensyl who remained in the Blair County Prison.

Source: Altoona Mirror, http://www.altoonamirror.com

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Herbal Essence

A western Pennsylvania man is accused of stealing a small bag of marijuana held as evidence because he allegedly couldn’t resist the drug’s aroma.

Authorities say that 27-year-old David Allan Thompson of Charleroi stopped at a police station one night to offer police some unspecified information.

Police tell the Observer-Reporter newspaper that Thompson apparently stole the drugs while an officer was logging them into evidence after police had seized them that night.

Police confronted Thompson outside the station. They say handed over the drugs and confessed, saying, “I just couldn’t help myself. That bud smelled so good.”

Thompson faced a preliminary hearing Aug. 23. Online court records list no attorney for him.

Source: Observer-Reporter, http://www.observer-reporter.com

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Musical Chairs

One western Pennsylvania borough’s council has voted to curb parade chairs.

Canonsburg council voted to restrict how soon residents can put chairs along the borough’s Independence Day parade route because some folks have begun putting up chairs to save their seats nearly two weeks before the annual parade. Council says that’s unsafe, especially because some folks chain their chairs together to make them harder to move.

The new rule bans space-saving chairs before 6 a.m. each July 4.

The effort has become an event unto itself, with a local civic group giving out cash prizes for the most flamboyantly decorated chairs.

Councilman Joseph McGarry cast the only “no” vote saying, “We’re going from one extreme to the other.”

He favors letting people put out chairs a day or two before the parade.