Slippery Rock Gazette

In Memory of Bobby Grace Brakefield

Bob Murrell

M3 Technologies

Photos Courtesy Family of Bob Murrell

Bobby Grace in early December

This month (December, at the time of this writing) has been a very sad month for me and my family. We lost my only granddaughter, Bobby Grace Brakefield, to a horrible accident. She got a twisted intestine and passed away suddenly, within about 24 hours.

It was Sunday night December the 15th, when my wife Julie, my youngest daughter Taylor, and I were watching the television when we got the call. We immediately dropped what we were doing, walked out the door, and drove to Bowling Green, at about 90 mph the whole way. The entire 3.5 hour trip we were praying and hoping for a miracle, but when we arrived, she had already passed. It was the hardest day of my life. I couldn’t bear it. I felt so bad for my daughter Logan, because I couldn’t fix this for her. I have always been able to talk my way out of or fight my way out of problems, but this time, I just couldn’t fix it. We were all helpless.

Even though she was only 2-1/2 years old, Bobby Grace was so full of life. She was in the 90+ percentile of her age group in size and intelligence. She was walking at 9 months old, and was speaking in full sentences by the time she was two. She went on hikes with her mom and dad routinely and was a beautiful soul who was so advanced, that she was scary smart.

She leaves behind her little brother Murrell, who is 14 months old. Logan is pregnant with another, expecting in July.

From my colleagues, customers, and friends, and even my wife Julie’s (Knoxville Marble Polish) customers, everyone has been so kind and supportive. This industry has been and continues to be, very good to us. The support from friends and family both in Bowling Green, where the funeral service was held, to everyone who attended the graveside service here in Knoxville for her final resting place, was overwhelming.

My son-in-law Hendrix is a fine man, and I am so very thankful he, Logan, and Murrell have each other during this time. Hendrix wrote Bobby Grace’s eulogy and I, and many others, thought this was appropriate for most anyone who will read it. I wanted to share it with my readers. Hold on to what matters in life, as everything else is temporary.

My eulogy for our daughter

Logan, Bobby Grace, and me at my Crossfit gym

In this time of grief we have reminded ourselves of two things. That we don’t have to understand why and we don’t have to worry about what next. Before his final journey to his crucifixion and in full knowledge of what was to come, Jesus expressed his natural human desire to avoid pain and suffering by asking “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me.” And we have been asking the same in these circumstances. But where I find peace is in what he said next, “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” I felt peace in this prayer arriving at the hospital with no knowledge of what was to come. I felt peace in this prayer while we watched the medical team attempt to bring Bobby back from death. And I felt peace in this prayer when it was final and we didn’t know what was next.

Earlier in his life Jesus preached “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” If the animals of the world do not work and toil yet are fed and sheltered and live, then I can have faith that we will be provided for if we do our best to live out our purpose every day. Even if it doesn’t feel like it in the midst of turmoil. He then said “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” And yes we have enough trouble to worry about for today. But I don’t worry about what is next. Like Jesus in the garden, we may all go through things in our lives that we do not want to or that we do not choose, and yet my faith assures me that God knows all, including why we must go through the things we do.

There is a Hebrew word, Hebel, that can be translated as vapor, breath, or mist. Something that may be visible or exist for a moment but that if we were to try and grab hold of would not support or sustain us. Hebel is used in different instances in the Bible to describe the transient nature of life and tangible things of this world. The concept that so many things we attach ourselves to are meaningless when we believe they will provide lasting fulfillment or happiness. Things that when we put our hope in or lean on will leave us wanting and unsupported. Money, power, possessions, achievements, knowledge, and even our opinions on the hands we are dealt in life. While easy to enjoy, comforting to have, and addictive to pursue, there comes a time when these things no longer provide value. Tragedy, death, setbacks, chaos. When these strike it’s inevitable that we’ll experience anger, fear, frustration, and despair if we are grasping towards the unsubstantial handholds this world encourages us to rely on. They can’t save us from heartache, or failure, or pain, or death. And if we have nothing more, then there is nothing more to expect. Yet not all is Hebel: Love, compassion, relationships, community. Wisdom, righteous principles, Loving your neighbor as yourself, and faith in something greater than ourselves. Recognizing and leaning into our gifts and challenging ourselves to be better every day. There are far less things that are lasting than temporary, but they are worth striving after as they will be there when we need them.

What happened to Bobby is objectively tragic. And yet there is no way for me to know where it ranks. What does our opinion mean to the universe or to those across the globe who it means nothing to? Who are we as mere mortals to determine where on the spectrum of positive and negative individual instances fall? The stoic emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote “It is not for you to judge what is good or bad, but rather to accept the natural order of things and act in harmony with it.” What perspective do I have to understand the wider purpose and plan? A wildfire or flood are rightfully viewed negatively by the humans who are impacted, yet to the forest and river valley it is necessary and good and brings forth positive things that we notice but may take for granted or fail to recognize the relationship.

I do not want Bobby to be gone but there is so much good that came from her life and I believe will come after her passing. We will be stronger people, better parents, and more empathetic members of humanity. I feel more connected to my family, friends, and community and I am reminded not to take the good things for granted, and to seek out the good when I can’t or don’t want to. I want to believe this experience will instill the same sentiment in all of us here. I will be a better person for this. A better husband, father, professional, friend, and supporter to other people in pain. This is reflected in the Bible when Paul reminds the struggling people of Corinth to “Praise God who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” I know in the future we will be better able to serve others with the experience we have encountered this week. And I will forever carry our memories with Bobby, which are made of nothing other than glorious bright warm light, into the future and through future darkness.

Bobby Grace’s physical experience is over, it too was Hebel, including our ability to see her, hold her, talk to her. I expect over time I’ll forget many specific memories which are all Hebel as well. But there is so much I won’t lose and that I will be able to grasp and hold onto. The love we shared with her and that she shared with the world. The wisdom we were granted and will be granted going forward. The righteousness of a child’s life and what it teaches us to be in our own. And the power of our faith that we would not make it through without.

Jesus said “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest…For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” With God, the worst thing is not the last thing. There is hope and there is more.

2024 Christmas family photo L to R – Hendrix, Julie, Bobby Grace & Logan, me, Taylor & Murrell

Bobby Grace’s impact on us:

To embrace rather than try and contain her abundant energy.

To live with a gushing of life rather than a controlled expression.

To have gratitude for every day and begin each one with eagerness and excitement

To engage with strangers and show everyone love

To build others up even when we are in a place of hurt.

To overcome judgement by expressing ourselves completely and genuinely

To create positivity by spreading positivity

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I am looking forward to a blessed 2025 and helping to raise my grandson, Murrell, and the new grandchild when she or he gets here.

I’ll be back to the work-related articles for next month. I just wanted to share as I hope it helps with the healing.