Why Not Play “Winter” Music All Year Long? by Sam Venable
Sam Venable
Department of Irony
In case you haven’t noticed, the 2024 edition of Christmas is history.
In most Christian circles, the official end won’t come until Epiphany, or Three Kings Day, on Monday, January 6.
In the secular world, however, the switch was earlier and more abrupt. It occurred the first nanosecond of December 26, 2024 — at which time TV networks and radio stations reverted to regular programming and stores replaced candy canes with candy hearts.
Either way, Christmas won’t be heard from again until Advent Sunday on November 30 (religious observance) or sometime between Independence Day, Labor Day and Halloween (commercial observance, depending on inventories of hot, new, gotta-have gifts.)
But why must “winter” songs vanish along with Santa? Wouldn’t some festive music liven the dreary days sure to come in January and February? A reader once posed that question to me, and I had to admit she made a good point. Consider:
Where in, say, “Jingle Bells” does the word “Christmas” appear?
“Jingle Bells” describes a trip through the snowy countryside in a sleigh. OK, so maybe there aren’t many sleighs, one-horse or otherwise, available for everyday use. But why not four-wheel-drive with 100 horses under the hood?
Fannie Bright, or the companion of your choosing, could still be seated by your side — although this could present an issue with seat belts.
Then there’s “Sleigh Bells.”
This song contains no mention of mangers, Mary, Magi or myrrh. Just some snowman named Parson Brown who might conduct a wedding ceremony. We assume, of course, that he is properly licensed by the state.
Speaking of snowmen, why limit “Frosty” to Christmas?
Don’t kids continue to build snowmen as long as there’s even a hint of snow on the ground?
And if the sun comes out, requiring Frosty to “hurry on his way?” No problem. We all know snowman-making conditions are certain to “be back again someday.” (Often at Easter or during the start of spring break, but I mention this only for meteorological trivia.)
There’s also “Baby It’s Cold Outside.”
Or maybe not. The more I thought about this one, I decided its innuendos of sexual harassment, cigarettes and spiked drinks haven’t aged well.
At the same time, it did cross my mind that the first person who breaks into a jolly verse of “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!” when the interstates are closed might be asking for a poke in the nose.
Maybe we oughta leave well enough alone and start saving our money for Valentine cards, chocolates and roses.
Sam Venable is an author, comedic entertainer, and humor columnist for the Knoxville (TN) News Sentinel. His latest book is “The Joke’s on YOU! (All I Did Was Clean Out My Files).” He may be reached at sam.venable@outlook.com.
Cartoons by Mark Anderson
