Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD

The stone and tile industry can be a strange business, especially for yours truly, the Stone Detective. I was sitting at my favorite greasy spoon flirting with Flo when my phone rang. The first words I heard on the line were a declaration of disaster: “We have a major problem!”

Well, that’s what I do for a living: I solve problems, so I continued to listen. The person on the other end sounded frantic. He yelled out, “We are going to be sued for sexual harassment!” At first, I thought he must have called the wrong number. I started to explain to him that I was not an attorney, but a stone and tile expert. He said, “I know, that’s why I’m calling you!”

 OK. I thought, I have never had a case with any stone or tile project that caused sexual harassment. I was eager to hear “the rest of the story,” as Paul Harvey would say.

The caller went on and on about how people could see everything and seemed to be ranting on and on about women’s skirts. He then told me that it was hard to explain and I would have to see if for myself. Now my curiosity was at its peak, so I asked for the address. It was a major hotel in a downtown area near my office so I told him I could meet with him today. 

The Admiral, who was sitting in his usual stool, overheard me and started telling me a story about some sailor and a sexual harassment case when he was in the Navy. Was kind of a boring story, and Flo just looked at me and rolled her eyes as if she had heard this story a thousand times. I continued to sip on my cup of joe as I listened to him drone on and on. I finished my breakfast and headed on over to the hotel. 

…

I pulled up to the hotel in my ole Woody and handed the keys to the valet. He took one look at the manual stick shift and asked if I could park it “over there.” Sheesh. Kids these days have no idea how to drive a stick. I remember when you had to special order an automatic transmission! All the cars I drove back in the day were manual transmissions. I pulled the Woody over to the side, tossed the keys to the valet and told him I should be back in a while.

I walked into the main lobby and there were a number of people waiting for me. Based on their carefully tailored suits my guess is there were some attorneys in the mix. Sure enough, each introduced themselves and two of them were in fact, attorneys. The hotel manager asked me to take a seat and they proceeded to tell me that there may have several sexual harassment lawsuits being filed unless they could come up with some way to solve this problem. Again, I had to explain that I was a stone and tile expert and didn’t understand what this had to do with sexual harassment. They all looked at one another and said, “We will just have to show you.”

They all got up and led me down a long hallway. We stopped at the woman’s restroom and a maid knocked on the door, went inside and a minute later came out and said the coast was clear. We all shuffled into the restroom. The restroom was clad in marble and granite from floor to ceiling. The vanities were a pink marble and the floors were highly polished black granite. I looked around and everything looked great. There were no failures that I could see etc. I still was puzzled and one of the attorneys asked the maid to enter one of the stalls. She opened the door to the stall, closed the door, and just stood there. The hotel manager pointed to the floor and said, “There’s the problem. ”I stepped back and immediately saw what he was talking about. The floor was so highly polished that it looked like a mirror was on the floor. When anyone entered the stall, you could see everything in the reflection. Wow, I thought. Now I get it.

I looked at them and told them the solution was simple: The floor would need to be honed to dull the shine so it didn’t reflect. They all looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Apparently, they were unaware that granite can be honed. I explained in detail what needed to be done and suggested they either close this restroom or put some kind of disclaimer sign up. I’ve seen a lot in my years in this business, but this one was a first. Another case solved.


The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD, written to entertain and educate. Dr. Fred has written over 33 books on stone and tile installations, fabrication and restoration and also serves as an expert for many legal cases across the world.  Send your comments to fhueston@stoneforensics.com.