1. Where do you find a dog with no legs?

– Right where you left it.

2. Why was the dog stealing shingles?

– He wanted to become a woofer.

 3. What do you call a dog with no legs?

– It doesn’t matter, he still won’t come when you call.

 4. Why do dogs make terrible dance partners?

– They’ve got two left feet!

5. If your dog was barking at the front door and your wife knocking on the back door, who should you let in first?

– The dog, because at least it would shut up once it got in.