Frederick M. Hueston, PhD

Brrr! It’s cold here in Florida, this week. It got down to 59 degrees this morning. I know you northern folks think that’s flip flops and shorts weather, but here in the south, that is cold. They say your blood thins when you live in the south, and it really does. I moved here in 1978 from Bon Jovi’s state and can imagine shoveling snow again… in my nightmares! Anyway, I broke out my winter coat, gloves and scarf, and of course my winter fedora, and headed out to grab a cup of joe at my favorite greasy spoon diner.

No sooner had I walked out the door my ole cell phone rang. “Stone Detective,” I said in my “I haven’t had my coffee yet” voice.  It so happened that the person calling was an old friend of mine, who was in the stone restoration business. He asked me if I had any advice on how to overcome customers demanding a lower price when the job didn’t take as long as he said it would take. I told him, “I have just the solution, but first I need my morning joe. I’ll call ya back in a bit.”

I walked into the diner, and before I could sit down,  Flo was already pouring my joe. But this time she only filled it half way. I looked at her and just gave her my “what the heck?” glance. She smiled and said that the coffee was half-price today, so you only get half… then she laughed and poured the rest of my cup.  The ole Admiral said good morning and started chatting about the awful coffee he had in the Navy.  I just nodded, finished my coffee, placed a five on the counter and walked out to the old Woody to warm her up.

I grabbed my phone and gave my old restoration friend a call. “Hey, bud,” I said, “I’m returning your call and have a great story to tell you about how to deal with customers who only want to pay you for your time.” He said, “I’m listening,” so I told him the following story.

……

Back in the day when I had a restoration company, I had received a call from a lady who had a marble floor in dire need of restoration. She told me she had called several contractors and none of them could restore the floor. She said that I was her last hope. In my younger days I was always a sucker for a dame in distress, so I told her I would be right over to take a look. 

I arrived at her house, or what most people would call a mansion. I walked inside, introduced myself, and she immediately led me to this massive room, which she called the ballroom. The floor was white Carrara marble that had all kinds of stains and looked like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers had been dancing on it for years.  I told her we could restore in, remove some of the stains, and I wrote up a quote. She looked at the quote and asked me how long it would take. I told her about 7 to 10 days. She said “OK. Start right way, then.”

My crew began the work and had the job done in four days. As the crew was putting away the equipment the lady came up to me praising me on how great the floor looked. She was ecstatic. She told me that it looked better than new. I gave her some care instructions and handed her the bill. She looked at me and said, “Oh no, this is way too much!”

“Excuse me?” I said, “Isn’t that the price I quoted you?” She replied, “Yes but it only took you four days, and not seven, or ten.”

My jaw nearly hit the floor, but it just so happened that I had heard a story that fit this situation.  I looked her straight in the eye and asked her if she had ever heard of Pablo Picasso, the famous artist. She said, “Of course.”

“Well,” I said, “Mr. Picasso was sitting in a cafe minding his own business when someone came up to him and asked him to draw something on a back of a napkin. That person insisted and said they would gladly pay him. Picasso took out a pencil and scribbled a quick drawing on the back of the napkin, handed it to the fan and said that would be $50,000 dollars. The fan gasped and said, ‘But it only took you 2 seconds to draw that!’ Picasso looked up at the fan and said, ‘NO. It took me fifty years!’ 

As I told the lady this story she looked at me like I was crazy. And then I added, “Like Picasso, it has taken me many years to learn this trade, and you are not paying for my time, but for my expertise.” She just got out her checkbook and paid me the full amount.

My contractor friend loved the story, and said he’d use it the next time he had a customer grumbling about actual cost.



Another case solved – or rather, another contractor helped.


The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD, written to entertain and educate. Dr. Fred has written over 33 books on stone and tile installations, fabrication and restoration and also serves as an expert for many legal cases across the world. Fred has also been writing for the Slippery Rock Gazette for over 20 years. 

Send your comments to fhueston@stoneforensics.com.