Frederick M. Hueston, PhD

I have been in the stone business for over 30 years, and I am still shocked at some of the weird calls and things I see in this business that are just plain strange. Today would be no different, but I had no idea it would be a first, even for me.

I was enjoying a cup of joe at my favorite greasy spoon and overheard Flo talking to one of the regulars about a new show on TV. I didn’t quite hear the name of the show, but I did hear her saying something about a little girl being possessed.  I thought nothing of it, figuring it was just the normal diner chitchat that I hear every morning. Little did I realize that I would be involved with a case later that day where someone’s marble floor was supposedly possessed.  

I finished my coffee and was headed back to the office when my cell phone rang. “Stone Detective here,” I said. The voice on the other end sounded frantic and scared. The lady was crying, mumbling something about her new marble floor was haunted or possessed. She was going on and on claiming some “spirit entity” had entered her home and started writing on her marble floor. 

I wasn’t sure why she was calling me instead of a priest, but it roused my curiosity. After she finished her macabre tale, I started asking her my standard questions. How old was the installation? When did she start noticing the problem? Etcetera, etcetera. Then I asked the most important question: why did she think her floor was possessed?  

She told me that her white marble floor was installed about 6 months ago. One day recently, she woke up and noticed what appeared to be blurry words appearing on top of the marble. She told me that these words appeared to be getting more and more clear. I asked her if she could make out what the words were. She told me that one of the tiles appeared to have the number 666, and another one had the word, “Tha…. something.” She was convinced it was some kind of spirit writing or maybe a demon sending a message. Well, I almost laughed — but then again, I also was pretty scared when I saw The Exorcist. I told her I would be out there that afternoon to take a look.

I arrived at a large house that reminded me of the old hill-top house in the movie Psycho. As I pulled up in the drive, I thought, I hope Norman’s not home!  I swear I heard some eerie music coming from inside the house. 

I don’t know why, but my thoughts went to the music from Beetlejuice.  I tried to keep a serious face, but I laughed to myself. Maybe I’m watching too many movies. 

I grabbed my bag of inspection tools and headed for the front door. Time to cue my own theme music: Tubular Bells.

When I rang the doorbell, a tall, pale lady answered the door. She was wearing a long black dress that reminded me of the one that Morticia wore in the old Adams Family series. Yep. This is going to be a strange inspection, I thought.  

She led me into a large living room. When I say large–I mean large. It looked more like a ballroom. The floor was a white Carrara-type marble. It was all perfectly vein matched, a beautiful job. I noticed right away that some of the pieces had black squiggles and writing that was foggy but appeared to be just below the surface of the stone. 

I suspected right away what was causing it. I looked over at “Morticia” and wanted to tell her she needed to call Father Dyer.  No, I didn’t – but I sure thought about it!

I did reassure her that her floor wasn’t possessed. I asked her if she had any leftover pieces that had not been installed. She told me there were a few pieces in the garage. She led me there, and indeed, there were several large pieces of thin marble leaning up against the wall. I carefully grabbed one and pulled it away from the wall, to look at the reverse side. Bingo – just as I thought. There was writing on the back of each piece in what appeared to be black magic marker.  I told her that the alcohol-based ink in the marker was bleeding though the stone and was wicking to the surface of the stone. She genuflected and said a relieved “Thank goodness!” I told her that the stone would need to be poulticed to remove the stains, and it could take numerous poultices applications.  Another cased solved – and another stone floor exorcised! 

What do you think: should I charge more for “ghost busting”?


The Stone Detective is a fictional character created by Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD. Dr. Fred has written over 33 books on stone and tile fabrication and installation, and also serves as an expert witness. Fred has also been writing for the Slippery Rock for over 20 years.
Send your comments to fhueston@stoneforensics.com.