• To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
  • The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
  • Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
  • Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
  • There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
  • Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
  • Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
  • Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
  • An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don’t have small children.
  • Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.