IRS Help Center Calls

The following are actual phone calls made to I.R.S. offices across the United States. Hint: They do not give points for stupidity, but they do have a (warped) sense of humor.

Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of...
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we’re not counting on it lasting.

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Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I’ll open it.

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Caller: I’m a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It’s the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?

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Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value for your area and for the size of the domicile.
Caller: It’s very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a whole lot more.