Sharon Koehler

Artistic Stone Design

Recently, I witnessed a knock-down, drag-out argument between two people. I know them both and have a good relationship with both of them. It upset me very much as I respect both parties. After it was all over and I had left the area, one of the arguing people started texting me their side. Honestly, I didn’t want to hear it or be involved with it. I wanted to remain neutral, and it truly was none of my business. Unfortunately, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

However, it was what happened next that really made me stop and think. I was upset, and instead of calming down, I let it affect me. So, because of that, I was unkind (for no reason) to one of my co-workers, which then put her in a bad mood (I have since apologized).  Later, I found out that one of the guys involved in the argument made a huge mistake at his job, sending a couple of people in his customer service department into a tailspin trying to cover his mistake. Due to that mistake, one of the inconvenienced customers had to call his work and take the whole day off instead of just the morning. It also caused him to cancel a meeting he was supposed to be involved in that afternoon. You get the idea.

By the end of the day I counted no less than 19 people affected by this argument that was originally just between two people. And those are just the people I know about. I don’t know if one of the customer service reps went home and took it out on their family, or if someone scheduled to make an important presentation at the canceled meeting became upset and had a few too many at the bar, which in turn made him brave enough to take on the biggest, baddest dude in the place and get hurt. Who knows? 

The point here is that humans are not solitary. Unless you are at the South Pole in the middle of winter conducting a science experiment, somewhere along the line, you are going to run into another person during your day. There are too many of us on the planet to not run into or interact with someone. It’s just a fact.

“So what?” you might be wondering. “Who cares?”  To be truthful, everybody should care. The world is full of bad things happening to good people. Stress levels have reached an all-time high. People are moving faster and doing more. We now deal with mass shootings, terrorism, violence in the streets and schools, and drugs everywhere. No wonder we are stressed and ready to snap. But don’t.

 If you’re in a bad mood before you get to work, try to check your bad mood at the door. 

Don’t take it out on other people. If it’s work related, find someone to vent to. Venting gets your anger and frustrations out without affecting a whole lot of people, plus it makes you feel better both physically and mentally. Medical research shows that holding in anger and frustration can lead to high blood pressure and heart disease.  Why would you do that to yourself?

Now for the good news: The ripple effect works when things go bad but the ripple effect also works for the good side of things.  When you are angry or in a bad mood, it can affect the people around you. So can good deeds, laughter and a good mood. Laughter is infectious – we all know that – but you can do more. If you see someone struggling, help them. If they are angry and taking it out on everyone, pull them aside and offer to help them. Let them vent and listen to them. You don’t have to agree with them or be on their side, just listen. If you see someone having a hard time with a task, offer to help them. Even if you can’t help for some reason, the offer will be appreciated. 

Not too long ago I was in a mechanic’s shop at 5p.m. on a hot Friday afternoon. I was absolutely livid about something concerning my Jeep.  I was not the least bit concerned about hiding my anger. I was raking the manager over the coals for this horrible mistake when a complete stranger tapped me on the shoulder. When I whirled around, wondering who dared to incite my wrath even further, this total stranger told me the dumbest, lamest joke I have ever heard. I had no choice – I burst out laughing. I was laughing so hard that tears were running down my cheeks.
All my anger over the mistake immediately left me, and the manager and I were able to work something out agreeable to both of us. I was happy when I left, and what could have been a horrible, whiny night with my friends was instead a fun, relaxing evening, all because a stranger told me a dumb joke to defuse a tense situation. 

So, make a difference in someone’s day and your own. A kind word, a dumb joke, a smile, a compliment or a pat on the back can go a long way for them and you! Have a nice day!

(Writer’s note: The lame joke told to me by the stranger? “Which side of a cheetah has the most spots?  …The outside!”)

Sharon Koehler is a 10-year veteran of the stone industry and currently head of marketing for ArtisticStone Design in Richmond, Virginia. She has been a regular contributor to various trade magazines for several years. Please send your thoughts on this article to sharon@artisticstonerichmond.com.