The movies have so much to teach us. Here are a few important life lessons offered up from Hollywood’s finest:

  • If you have a prolonged physical fight with another person that ends without one of you killing the other, you’ll become BFFs. Bring on the bromance
  • If your current problem revolves around an elderly scientist, he or she will invariably have a beautiful daughter who will fall in love with you.
  • If you shoot people, they will die instantly. If someone shoots you, you’ll suffer a bloody but minor flesh wound.
  • If you grunt in pain while a beautiful woman is treating your flesh wound, she will fall in love with you.
  • If you compete in a game or sport against a world champion, you will win despite your lack of training or actual ability. He or she will then try to kill you.
  • According to current cinematic standards, what’s the most important thing Hollywood has to teach us?
    No matter what your problem might be – it’s someone else’s fault. You’re an innocent victim of a Government conspiracy, probably involving aliens or mind control experiments!