A husband, trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use, on the average, only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Looking stunned, he said, “What?”

We Need to Talk

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good, mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom:

“Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in class. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.”

Sally’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:

“Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I sure would like to try it out on her mother.”

You May Be Too Good for Me

Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. 

As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now...I think you bring me bad luck!”

Tidbits and Cupids

  • Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But unfortunately, the law only allows for one wife.
  • A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
  • Overheard at a bar: “I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.”
  • Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  • Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so are thunder and lightning.