Page 13 - Demo

Slippery Rock Gazette
The Stone Detective
The Case of the Shiny Grout
He began to explain to me that he had a new tile kitchen floor installed, and some of the grout was really shiny while other areas appeared normal. He told me the installer had no idea why this was happen- ing, and he needed an independent opinion, and found me on the internet. He asked if I could jaunt out there today and take a look. It was one of my rare slow days, and I had planned on washing and waxing the old Woody, but work is work, so I told him I would be out there within the next hour. I hung up the phone just as Flo was bring- ing my breakfast. I couldn’t help but laugh again when I thought about her calling my bacon “Porky Pig.” When I looked down at my eggs, they did look like a pair of eyes staring back at me.
———
I arrived at the gentleman’s home and
was greeted at the door before I could even knock. I’m sure he was waiting for my arrival and saw me and my dirty, unwaxed Woody pull up the drive. He led me into the kitchen and, to my surprise, there were sev- eral people there. They all introduced them- selves. There were the installer and his help, two different attorneys, one representing
September 2024 | 13
the installer and the other the homeowner. This surprised me since I didn’t know this was going to be a lawsuit. So, I put on my expert witness personality, which is basi- cally, do the inspection and don’t say a word. I looked at the tile installation and it all seemed normal except there were sev- eral areas where the grout was extremely smooth and shiny and other areas that were very sandy-looking. I turned and asked the installer what type of grout he used, and he told me it was an epoxy grout. I knew right away what the problem was as soon as he said epoxy. I then asked him to explain to me in detail how he applied the grout. He proceeded to tell me that they mixed the three-part epoxy and started installing it on the tile. I then asked him how long it took him to install it, and he looked a lit- tle puzzled. So, I asked him if he took a break when applying it, and he said yes, several. Bingo, I thought to myself. I took the homeowner and his attorney aside and explained that this is common with epoxy grout. Epoxy is a resin that is mixed with a sanded grout.
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IT
“Alexa, what’s the weather today?” She responded with, “The humidity is higher than a kite right now. It’s a bad hair day in the making, so plan accordingly.” Alexa has been a little funny lately, but I like it. I laughed, got up, showered, grabbed my fedora, and headed out the door to—you know where. That’s right, to visit my fa- vorite greasy spoon for a cup of joe and some flirting with Flo. Now, for those of you who read my stories, do you remem- ber the story where I name the restaurant I most frequent? If so, drop me a line and the first person to respond will win an autographed copy of my signature on a post-it note (LOL).
I arrived at the restaurant and took my regular stool next to the old Admiral. Flo already had my cup of joe poured, gave me a wink, and asked me what I wanted
Dr. Frederick M. Hueston, PhD
for breakfast. I told her I would have some eggs sunny side up with some bacon. She turned around and yelled to the cook, “Porky Pig looking at me.” I laughed and just as I was about to respond with my own pun, my cell phone rang. “Stone Detective here,” I said in a laughing tone. The voice on the other end sounded like they were talking in a tunnel. All I could hear was a tinny-sound- ing male voice on the other end saying something about their grout being too shiny. I asked them to call me back, and he did, which corrected
the tunnel-like sound effect.
was a brisk Florida morning. I woke
up, and to check the weather yelled,
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