Page 15 - Demo

Slippery Rock Gazette
March 2024 | 15
‘Cutting Weed$’ is $oon to Be a Labor of Love
Like fishermen, fisherwomen and fisherkids around the country, I’m up to my waders in fishing-related material right now.
Fishing catalogs. Fishing magazines. Fishing TV shows. Plus fishing blog posts, fishing websites, fishing videos, aka pisca- torial porn.
The people who generate this stuff have us at their mercy. They know we suffer cabin fever something awful this time of year. All it takes is the mere suggestion that spring awaits “somewhere out there,” and we addicts can’t hand over our credit cards fast enough.
This year, however, it wasn’t the latest, greatest, most-innovative, sure-nuff, guar- anteed, oughta-be-outlawed lure or tech- nique that caught my eye. Instead, it was an online story about the wonders of hydrilla.
For those whose closest association to water is a shower stall or bourbon-and-a- splash, let me explain: Hydrilla is an inva- sive aquatic plant that has found a home in reservoirs throughout the Southeast. Kinda like milfoil and the myriad other species of “freshwater seaweed” that grow in our lakes.
Rarely do people have mixed feelings about this flora. As a TVA director once told me: “It’s the No. 1 thing I hear about from lake users. They either hate the stuff or they love it.”
Waterskiers, pleasure boaters and lake- front property owners are in the “hate” cat- egory. To them, aquatic veggies are not only an eyesore, they also impede freedom of outboard propulsion. Sorta like driving down the interstate and having to dodge broken glass, bags of garbage, old tires and chunks of metal.
Sam Venable
Department of Irony
Duck hunters and anglers fall under the “love” category. Hydrilla and milfoil pro- vide a great source of food for waterfowl, plus excellent habitat for fish.
But the online fishing story that I saw described a novel use for hydrilla.
The NTCA Five-Star Contractor Program has, in recent years, advanced to include accreditation, emphasizing members’ dedication to indus- try professionalism through third-party validation. Since 2008, the program has consistently maintained rigorous standards for tile and stone installation contractors, acknowledging outstanding craftsmanship and strict business practices.
In response to industry changes, all com- panies, including existing NTCA Five- Star Members, must reapply and undergo accreditation. This transformation marks a shift from “company recognition” to an official “accreditation” program with a thorough third-party review process. NTCA released this change in October 2023, with the companies that successfully transitioned, and will continue to showcase the tile installation companies that transi- tion through this process, every quarter in
NTCA is proud to announce the compa- nies have successfully transitioned to Five- Star Accredited status after reapplying as of December 31, 2023:
Residential
Cox Tile
Hawthorne Tile
Hohn & Hohn, Inc
Icon Tile & Design Lambert Tile & Stone Vallefuoco Contractors, Inc.
Commercial
A+ Tile & Stone
Residential and Commercial
J&R Tile
Established in 1947, the National Tile Contractors Association (NTCA) is a nonprofit trade association dedicated to the professional installation of ceramic tile and natural stone. It is widely recog- nized as the largest and most respected tile
NTCA Announces Five-Star Accredited Companies
Health food. And I promise, scout’s 2024. honor, I’m not making this up.
Powder made from dried hydrilla appar- ently is a popular dietary supplement. It’s loaded with vitamins, minerals and anti- oxidants. Stirred into a smoothie, or taken straight with water, it’s supposed to turn the proverbial 97-pound weakling into Superman.
It’s expensive as all get-out, too. One online source I checked was offering a 1-pound bag for $130.
Wow. Lord knows there’s plenty of raw material floating around. I say let the har- vest begin!
And so: If you happen to be on Fort Loudoun, Melton Hill, Watts Bar, Chickamauga, Guntersville or other TVA lake this summer and see a 17-year-old boy standing in the bow of a 17-foot bass boat, holding the legs and feet of a 76-year-old croak who is whacking furiously with a machete, think nothing of it.
It’ll just be Yours Truly and grandson doing our part to make a few bucks; uh, I mean help Americans stay healthy.
Sam Venable is an author, comedic entertainer, and humor columnist for the Knoxville (TN) News Sentinel. His latest book is “The Joke’s on YOU! (All I Did Was Clean Out My Files).” He may be reached at sam.venable@outlook.com.
Five-Star Meeting held at the Noble Company
“Human Felicity is produced not so much by great Pieces of good Fortune that seldom happen, as by little Advantages that occur
every Day.”
– Benjamin Franklin
Bart Bettiga, NTCA Executive Director, emphasized the significance of accredita- tion, stating, “In a world where credibility and competence define success, our certifi- cation program stands as a beacon of assur- ance. This shift to accreditation reinforces the NTCA Five-Star Contractor Program’s commitment to upholding the highest industry standards and ensuring the contin- ued excellence of its members.”
contractors’ association in the world. For those seeking to improve their tile business, NTCA provides unparalleled educational experiences, supportive peer interaction, unique cost-savings programs, and a com- mitment to help develop the skills needed to improve your work, recruit, train, and manage your employees, and ultimately, make your business more profitable. Find out more at www.tile-assn.com.