Page 21 - Demo

slippery rock gAzette
August 2022|21
Not My Levis,
Not My Circus
Before Stephen Patterson of Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, boarded a flight from Arnold Palmer Regional Airport in early June, he stopped for a drink in the airport bar and paid with a $100 bill, which was conveniently and discreetly stamped with “for motion picture use only,” WPXI-TV reported.
The cashier at the bar noti- fied police officers, and they were waiting for Patterson on two days later when he flew back into the air- port in bucolic Latrobe, Pennsylvania.
“The suspect said that the pants he was wearing were not his, and he found the $100 bill in the pocket, so he decided to just use it," Park Police Chief Henry Fontana said. Mr. Patterson was arrested on felony charges, borrowed trousers and all.
Jugg in tha Jug
For your edification we present a nominee for Least Competent Thug: Mr. Ladesion Riley.
Mr. Riley, 30, who raps under the name 213 Jugg god, was one of four peo- ple arrested in Nashville on June 6 for robbing an ATM technician as he ser- viced a machine at a Bank of America location.
Riley’s videos have appeared on YouTube, and his latest song is called Make It Home. It refers to... you guessed it: robbing ATMs. Riley and his co-criminals are from Houston, so they’re facing federal charges and FBI scrutiny. Meanwhile, the Houston Police Officers’ Union mocked Mr. Riley on its Facebook page: “IRONY: When you make a rap song called Make It Home about bank jugging and hit- ting ATMs out of state, and then don’t make it home to Houston.”
News that Sounds Like a Joke
This sounds so improbable that the satirical NPR quiz show Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me actually used the story for one its stump-the-celeb- rity quiz questions: “Which of these news stories is actually true?”
And yes, Virginia, it’s true. The head chef at The Mission restaurant brought in the
rocks to “improve the over- all ambiance and add a unique touch” for customers enjoy- ing tequila shots. For those who are squeamish about the germs, the rock salt report- edly has natural sanitary prop- erties, but the restaurant staff also regularly wipe down the walls.
I think I’ll stick with the beer, thanks all the same.
IN
idea in the age of COVID- 19, a restaurant in Scottsdale, Arizona, encourages patrons to enhance their food or drink by licking a dining room wall made of Himalayan rock salt.
what seems like an
extraordinarily bad